Big Italian Famlies

As much as we all love our families, there are times when we feel like murdering the lot of them. I'm Italian on both sides of my family, my mum was born in Italy and I have Italian relatives coming out of my eyeballs. I don't feel like murdering them all the time but they do get on my nerves and every single one of them is wog to the extreme. After the war there were no jobs in Italy so both my sets of grandparents immigrated. as a general rule I don't bring up moving here with any of my family (especially after a few glasses of my grandfathers homemade wine) because its a never ending saga about how they came here with nothing and had such a hard life. But what do Italian families do that make them so hard to live with? They are all OBSESSED with food! if you go to someones house (which you regularly do) you're offered food before you even enter the door and if you don't accept they pretend you've said yes to a massive plate of pasta and some fruit. and if you go somewhere for a meal its a five course feast get togethers revolve around meals and people arnt satisfied until they so full they're

My mother is on the strict side of the spectrum, i cant sporadically decide to go out with my friends these things need to be booked 3 weeks in advance and in the end I'm usually not allowed to go because zio Franco had decided to come over and family pulls rank over friends. Mum also likes to stay local she'll often tell me "why go out in the city when you can go to the movies down the road?" she doesn't understand. In every Italian family you'll always have about 20 relatives who arnt really relatives but we pretend they are "because when we came out on the boat they helped us". No one believes a cold is a virus according to my entire family still believes that if you go out without fifty jumpers on or if you walk on cold tiles without shoes you'll get sick. you'll meet unknown relatives at weddings who'll start talking to you. easily offended aunts (didn't wear White at wedding) word will get back to your mum before you get home, Evey boy i talk to is my boyfriend, everyone is obsessed with cleaning, we have our own salami and sauce day where bunches of relatives get together . dancing. meddling. too many cousins. I'm lodging a formal complaint all my family uber tanned they can go in the sun for ten minutes and come back golden brown i stay in the sun for five minutes and burn, i got the big italian nose and thick frizzy hair! my grandparents had a huge beautiful heratige listed house then my grandfather thought the beautiful frangipani tree in the front yard made too much mess so he ripped the tree out and paved the front lawn. he then woggified the house by red bricking it and planting a veggie patch. no one talks everyone yells

don't get me wrong having an Italian family can be cool sometimes when you've got an awesome bocconcini, eggplant and sundried tomato panini for lunch, the fact that I'll never have to pay for accommodation in Europe because I've got relatives in every part and the fact that in moderation all this crazy Italian shit can be fun and entertaining.

You can choose your Friends but not your family right? so for now we're stuck with what we get given but hopefully one day in the future science will invent a cure for the crazy Italian gene.